I like to write sometimes….

I would like to introduce myself, my name is Hayley. I am 32 and I live in the wonderful UK, which has also been for 32 whole years, minus a few holidays and city breaks here and there.

I agonised over what the theme of this blog should be about, I am a fully trained hairdresser, I love food, which also means I have to love dieting. Travelling and seeing different places excites me and self exploration and improvement is something in which I invest in heavily. So I decided that I would write, which is something that I love to do and never do unless it is in one of my beautifully designed notepads which I can’t seem to stop buying.

I hope (pray) that the topics are helpful, inspiring, funny or just passing your lunch break in a much more productive way than scrolling through the same posts about your ‘friends’ amazing lives and copious baby pictures, political rants and food porn pictures on social media. No one likes those constant reminders of where your life isn’t!

So here is another option, just for your time.

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Meditate

Mediation has become so popular in recent years and for very good reason, it is probably a skill they should teach kids in schools, along with how to manage money, and other general life skills that seem to be overlooked. I’m going off on a tangent already.

If you haven’t tried to meditate before then DO! It is something I dip in and out of but when I am doing it every day, even just for 10 minutes I am so much happier and calmer and feel like I have my shit together. It helps with anxiety, depression and just for people who can’t find peace in our manic worlds. Its taking that few minutes out of your day to stop, re-group, and calm yourself.

There are so many YouTube videos that you can play that have different meditation techniques and they are free, you want a guided meditation to begin with which will teach you how to put yourself in to a meditative state and then you will find yourself over time being able to do it on your own.

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I bought a while ago from the Apple Store this mediation audio book, it is amazing and so many family and friends that I have recommended it too have loved it. It has many chapters explaining the benefits of mediation and why people do it. Then it has the actual guided meditations which you are meant to do the selected ones each day and alternate them each week, the idea is that by the end of the 8 weeks you are fully able to meditate properly. It teaches you the breathing and relaxing skills needed. (I am not affiliated in any way with this) This is the link to the book: https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Health-Personal-Development/Mindfulness-Audiobook/B004XWE8XQ?source_code=M2M30DFT1BkSH11221601A7 

My advice is to do all of them sitting up in a chair and not lying on your bed, as if you are on your bed it is a sure-fire way to get to sleep within minutes and therefore you won’t get the full benefit.

The power of meditation should never be underestimated, give it a go… it will be the best thing you ever learn to do.

Do you meditate? How do you find it and how do you do it?

Lots of love

Hayley xxx

Diet biz

Dieting is probably my biggest failure, I am 5’2, I feel like I carry my weight well but I am classed as over weight. I have been on every single diet going and my friends and family see it as an ongoing drama. Every month or so I am ready with full commitment to try something else.

I have tried Atkins, weight watchers, slimming world, Cambridge, Dukan, Herbalife, Joe wicks, and the heart foundation, Kayla Itsines…. probably just naming a selection here. I lost a stone 4 years ago doing slimming world and feel that is the best one as it is sustainable and easy to follow. I have tried going back to it but my weekends just ruin everything.

I don’t think that I am an emotional eater but I can’t help but think that there must be something in me that turns to food for something, whether that be boredom or maybe it’s because I put myself under so much pressure to lose weight that food has become a problem to me. It is something I always think about and something that I feel constant guilt about. My family are all very fit and healthy, my brother is a personal trainer and my mom goes to the gym about 6 times a week and LOVES healthy food……. I love naughty food, I love e chocolate, crisps, take aways etc. How is that fair?????

I have a very good understanding about nutrition and what foods are good for keeping hunger at bay and also that are just good for keeping us healthy and functioning better. The problem is I just don’t get that lovely satisfied feeling after eating peanut butter on an apple.

Its like I am in constant search for that one thing that is going to click with me. I want results after 3 hours of being on a diet and that is why I don’t stick to anything. I have an unusually high muscle mass which means I am heavier than a lot of my friends, I am strong, and I am great in the gym with weights… but the problem with the gym is that when I am exercising I love it and I love how it makes me feel but its this problem I have with sticking to things.

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I know that most people are the same as me as if they wasn’t I doubt there would be an industry which is so big based around diets and food plans.

So currently I am doing a 3 day heart foundation diet, it involves calorie limitation and eating certain foods with each other which are meant to speed up my metabolism, I know what you are thinking, ‘it will pile on when you eat normally’ I KNOW! I just like to stand on the scales for 1 day and see it lower. I weigh myself every single morning, I get up, have a wee, strip off and onto that sad step I go! just keep praying for that miracle.

Tell me about your ways of life with food and dieting, I am always interested to know about what other people do, how they don’t feel like they are going to pass out if they don’t eat every couple of hours like me.

Lots of happiness today 🙂

Love Hayley xxx

Anxiety saga

I have been a long-term sufferer of anxiety, it all started around 10 years ago out of the blue when I went on a girls weekend away, I started feeling like I needed to get out of any bars that we went too or at least be near a door so I could leave quickly if I needed too…. how ridiculous is that! Then I thought it would be a great idea to have 2 hours sleep and then have 2 black coffees in the morning, even though me and caffeine go as well together as chalk and cheese. I was the designated driver and then we set off home… whilst driving on the motor way my heart started racing so fast and I had to come off at the next junction, we then got stuck for 4 hours whilst I tried to find a map (smart phones were not around then) to find a way of getting home on the A roads… to no avail I  finally managed to get us home.

Since that day I have been on a rollercoaster of managing these anxious feelings every single day. I went through a phase of not being able to go into shopping centres because I felt like I couldn’t get out quickly enough, and then busy places as I would start feeling dizzy. I haven’t driven on a motorway for around 8 years now (I am fine as a passenger). It makes me feel weak as a woman to be so restricted with so many aspects of my life.

Going to the gym, shopping, restaurants, churches, going places on my own…. they all make me worry that I am going to panic. I get heavy legs, racing heart, sweaty palms, and generally feel like I am going to collapse or even pee my pants in public!

I have invested in the Linden Method, read books, read online articles and anything else available, all but taking tablets. I fully understand that anxiety is all in your mind, that it is an irrational fear and that it’s a learned behaviour…. but it sucks BIG time!

Every where I go I plan out the journey or event, make sure I always have a cereal bar or a banana with me, obviously in case my blood sugar levels drop and I collapse in a big scene in front of everyone, and that I have water, as I once read an article that a boy was playing football and he was dehydrated and swallowed his tongue… even more ridiculous hey!

I have good days and bad….. if I am hormonal that can trigger anxious feelings, if I haven’t eaten enough or have times of normal day-to-day stress that can make me not want to do things as sometimes its just easier to stay in and not have to battle.

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It’s no way of life and I will never give up trying to deal with it, if there was a magic wand that I could wave it would be to eliminate this from ever coming into my life again. I always try to challenge myself however big or small, I even went on a skiing holiday this year.

It puts huge strain on my relationships because sometimes for no reason at all, I just have to leave wherever we are. It’s not nice for anyone to have to deal with someone who needs you to make them feel like they are safe. I am so lucky to have someone who understands anxiety and he knows how to calm me and make me see sense. But it doesn’t make it easy that sometimes he just wants to do something fun with no problems, and not every time, but sometimes that does not happen.

If anyone has a solution to this I beg of you to tell me, I am so open to learning new techniques to rid of this horrible trap I find myself in.

I am a confident outgoing person who has always loved socialising and going to new places and having fun. I try not to lose myself in this and see it as something that I can manage. Sometimes its just harder than others.

Do you suffer with anxiety? How do you deal with it?

Lots of love

Hayley xx